It happens every summer, certain NBA stars get bored and get themselves into trouble. Bulls bad boy Joakim Noah started early, getting photographed in May at St Barts with a surgically-enhanced topless babe, marijuana, and plenty of alcohol. But there's been plenty of off-season notoriety since then.
Rashard Lewis nets a ten game suspension for taking DHEA, a common supplement well-known to have no performance enhancing benefits whatsoever. Since it takes two failed drug tests to get ten games on the pine, that tells me that Lewis is extremely dim. At least use something that works dude!
Stephen Marbury has been the wacko star of the off season. Guy seems to be live webcasting 24x7 and he's sent some pretty weird videos out for our viewing pleasure. Stuff like him eating Vaseline, gay-dancing to "Barbie Doll", and, in a truly bizarre web moment, getting into an auto accident during a live broadcast and encouraging his limo driver to ignore it, saying that it's "just the devil's work". GMs have got to be lining up to offer this guy a contract.
Michael Beasley burns through several Twitter accounts in a few weeks, posting bizarre and distressing messages on them. He posts a photograph on one that displays a horrific tattoo on his back, but gets into trouble when people notice what appears to be two bags of grass on the table next to him. Well, at least that would account for that tattoo. Finally, he disappears and then checks himself into a Houston rehab. Thank goodness Rose was available in that draft or else this would be the Bulls' problem.
Speaking of Rose though, he has his college career at Memphis wiped off the books for getting someone else to take his SAT test. Hey, he's just a natural assist man, right? Probably handed that test off to some guy for an easy layup.
Last but not least, is Shaq and his new TV show. He allegedly stole the idea from Steve Nash, but Nash has been too distracted by his Entourage cameos to do anything with it, so why not let the Big Shamu (he swims against Michael Phelps in one, though they would have gotten better ratings with a bong duel) take it over. "Shaq vs. the World" is the perfect venue for The Big Megalomaniac and is the perfect way for him to pump up his ego before become a member of LeBron's supporting cast. I've never been a Shaq fan, but I've got to say that the guy is entertaining. The Big Goofball will have a fine career post basketball, and I'm predicting that time won't be far off after we see him have a mediocre season with the Cavs this year.
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